I need to start writing again. With all the hectic mumbojumbo that's going down right now I just haven't had the time to sort my creative thoughts from my nuerosis and it's been clouding my inspiration to write. I feel like I owe those of you who actually care enough to read this some sort of an explanation of what's been going down cause I've been really vague.


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So here is my "let's try not to be too vague" abridged version of what's been giving me nervous energy/breaking my sleep pattern.

-straining my ankle-
It's slowed me down, thus giving me a lot more time to be chill and a lot less time to be on the go, workout, go to hiphop classes, etc etc etc bla bah bleh bah bah. It taps into the peace of mind just because I am fully aware that a part of my body isn't 100% keen, kinda like an irritating itch that wont go away... BUT I'm thankful for the fact that I can walk normally now..

-family funk-
Family is a special thing. you put these people together right, the tie being blood, which is basically unbreakable. You don't choose who your family is, so you're stuck with them for the long haul. My mom, dad, and brother.. I look at each and each one teaches me about the meaning of unconditional love, both the love they have for me and I for them, but where do you draw the line of the extent of what you give and receive emotionally? And what do I do if I've done all I possibly can to clue them in to my mind frame and what I'm able to give and they

just
keep
pushing
it?

I'm only human, I've got my own shit to deal with. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, because each time this fact will remain the same. PLEASE. STOP AND LISTEN.

-boys, well duh-
Sometimes I wish I can go back to the time in college when I had this huge ass dry spell. 2 years without dating/talking to anyone. No boys, no nothing. Yeah, I used to get a little frustrated by the fact that there was none, but at the same time, I had less to worry about. Then junior year rolled around, and well: when it rains, it POURS. From guy to guy and heartlesson learned to heart lesson learned. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but ya. I really don't know where I'm going with this. Since I moved back, things have gotten interesting. Missing certain ones in different ways. Circumstances that prevent cards from being good good hands even though I want to play. I can't complain, because feelings inside remind me that my heart beats, that I am alive...
But ay buhay. The mindfreakingbend.

-EuroTrip-
I'm leaving to go to Europe next Sunday. I think it's going to be what I need. Barcelona, Florence and London. I haven't had a REAL vacation away from it ALL for a while.. With everything that's gone down, I've sorta put the planning and stuff for the trip aside.. Gotta get into 'get ready' mode...

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I spoke. Wow. That felt good. Rare occasion guys... Don't expect me to be so explicit for a long damn time.

So yes. I'm saying it now, wont hit up another post on this unless it's real writing.
See you then.

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